How Do You Afford Your Rock 'n' Roll Lifestyle?

Something I have spent quite a bit of time doing lately is playing music with my two bands, Analog Revolution and Kitty Glitter. I suppose you could say I’m still enamored with the dreamscape image of rock ‘n’ roll which was sold to me as a little kid through MTV, magazines, and the movies. Epic tales of a musician’s lifestyle shaped my youth as others might’ve connected with coming of age novels or triumphant films about an underdog athletes. Now in my thirties, I realize that many of my favorite such narratives are those generated on the silver screen, and so, I thought I’d share with you the top five films responsible for shaping my rock ‘n’ roll imagination.

5. Walk the Line and The Runaways (TIE)
I initially decided not to consider any documentary or concert films, because there are just too many amazing works out there in the genre, and narrowing down the category would have eventually proved impossible. I did, however, allow myself to pull from docudramas (fictionalized recreations of actual people and events), and these two stood out as special contributions.

Not only are they both well written, beautifully shot, and glorious with depictions of the stereotypical “rise to fame-excess-down in flames-resurrection” narrative, but they also both include a cast who was dedicated beyond those of most bio-pics. Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon in Walk the Line and Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning in The Runaways all learned to actually sing and play the songs of their real life counterparts in addition to their usual character study routines. So while, yes, Val Kilmer displayed an amazingly accurate Morrison Drunk Stumble in The Doors and Jonathan Rhys Meyers pulled off a pretty decent sneer in Elvis, there is just something to be said for learning how to play Johnny Cash’s freight train guitar sound or Joan Jett’s defiant, yet sexy, vocal growl.

The special nature of this is exemplified on the commentary for The Runaways on which Jett admonishes herself for not getting a chance to teach Stewart the proper chord placement for “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll.” Stewart replies by saying she ended up learning the song from one of the other music coaches on set, to which Jett replies, “Yeah, but that’s not the way I play it.”

As someone who also learned Jett's anthem the “wrong” way when I first started playing it, this moment is priceless.

4. Velvet Goldmine
I have to admit, it’s actually been years since I’ve seen this film, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold a special place in my heart. It’s depictions of unbelievable excess and glamorous nihilism are unrivaled, and as a result, the 70s never looked so horrible and wonderful all at the same time. It doesn’t even matter that at times the film’s narrative is a bit “say what?” The amazing cast, including Ewan McGregor, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Toni Collette, Christian Bale, and Eddie Izzard, makes our trip through the rabbit hole so stylish and fun.

3. This is Spinal Tap
Okay, so I know it’s a cliché, but really, isn’t that the point? No list of rock ‘n’ roll movies is complete without “The Tap.” In fact, if someone fails to include this on their list of rock flicks, their opinion probably isn’t worth the weight of a cucumber wrapped in tin foil.

Honestly, this film is probably my number one pick in many ways. After all, it not only parodies nearly every great cliché in rock history, it created some of its very own (“These go to eleven.”), and it’s likely the only pick which can boast hoards of real life musicians telling tales of their very own “spinal tap moments?” However, I bumped it to number three, because my top two have been much more significant in terms of creating my mythical image of rock ‘n’ roll. This is Spinal Tap has simply been great at mocking it.

2. Almost Famous
I’ve always been a sucker for a good coming of age narrative, especially one that sticks with you for a few days. Now, make that a rock ‘n’ roll coming of age narrative, and it doesn’t get much better.

This film may have thought it was teaching me that I couldn’t “be friends with the rock stars,” but it failed miserably. I think I wanted to hang with them even more after watching William Miller’s ridiculous escapades. And frankly, even if I don’t get to be their friend, singing “Tiny Dancer” with them on their tour bus and going home with the groupie (sorry, “band aide”) with a heart of gold is still a pretty decent consolation prize.

1. Prey for Rock ‘n’ Roll
I have watched this film dozens of times, and it never gets old. It has a perfect balance of tense drama, snarky humor, and idealistic dreaming crushed by life’s lessons. Of course, I love the fact that this particular film is told through the eyes of women, as opposed to the endless films about male rockers, but I think what I love the most about this one is its more honest portrayal of being a musician.

“All I ever wanted to be was a rock and roll star.”

There are never any illusions about what Jackie wants. She didn’t stumble into a band by accident, and she isn’t trying to sell us some “doing it for the music” crap. No, she formed a band, because she wanted to live the dream rock ‘n’ roll promised. But by the time we join her story, it is clear she is unlikely to ever reach that brass ring, and instead, she leaves us with a much more important lesson.

True success can be measured by loving the journey, even when it doesn’t go where you wanted. You may never play the big local venue, land a record deal, open for your favorite band, have a national tour, or even play a gig for more than fifty people. The real treasure in the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle, though, is learning to love every moment of it as if it were your last, because it just might be.

“Instead I’m a musician, just some chick in a band. And you know what? It’s fucking cool.”

The Man in the Mirror

I was 8 years old.


My mother would play albums (yes, I do mean albums) while doing things around the house. I have wonderful memories of these days. She would flip through the stacks, pick out the lucky platter, and plunk it down on the turntable.

Thunk...hiss...click...click...around and around! The pumping beats, precision guitar chords, and catchy lyrics combined to create sounds that seemed simply magical to me.


This is where I met Michael Jackson. Diana Ross Presents The Jackson 5, The Jacksons, Goin' Places, Destiny, Triumph, The Jacksons Live, Off the Wall...and of course...Thriller.


It was not long before I found myself at the local mall, with allowance money in hand, to buy my own albums. While I had already poured over my mom's copy of Thriller countless times (memorizing lyrics, reading liner notes, and staring in fascination at that little baby tiger), I had to have my own.

I played it until it wore out. Other albums by "the gloved one" quickly entered my collection, only to wear out as well. I bought magazines, books, posters, T-shirts, and buttons. I watched videos, specials, and award shows. I collected everything I could find with his image on it. I joined his fan club.


What I didn't realize at the time was that not only had my mother exposed me to music which would forever change my life, but she had also introduced me to the concept of fandom. I could not be stopped. I cried when he was injured during the Pepsi commercial. I screamed at the top of my lungs for every Grammy and American Music Award he won. I sulked for days when I discovered the Victory tour would bring him and his brothers no where near my hometown. I learned every lyric, every dance move, every bit of trivia...everything. Michael Jackson was the reason for my first foray into a fan identity.


When I first heard of his death, I was of course shocked. Most of us were. For many, the sadness was about nostalgia. After all, a figure of our childhood was gone. He is, in fact, one of the first major celebrities of our generation to pass. Hence, we are grasping not only with his loss, but also with the realization that we are also going someday, and that day is much closer than it was when we first learned to moonwalk.

But I, as do many of us, also realize that Michael Jackson has not been the main figure of my fandom for many years. Scandal, gossip, and eccentricities have now dogged him for over a decade. Much of this has left us reeling with confusion. Do we mourn our childhoods, continue to make jokes, or remain steadfast to a belief that he was simply one f**ked up dude?


I called my mom. We talked about the news for awhile and reminisced about those days spent listening to his music. I told her I was sad, but I didn't really know why. She said that she was sad for Michael. Sad for his overwhelming lack of childhood. Sad for the physical and emotional abuses he suffered at the hands of those whom he was supposed to be able to trust. Sad for the immense weight of fame, which was forced upon him by power hungry parents. Sad for the tremendous lack of any real connection or friendship in his life. Sad for the way the world treated him.

That was when I began to understand. I was sad for these things, and I was nostalgic for my youth, but I was also unhappy with us as a society. We had managed to find fandom for Michael so easy during the 1980s. But when Michael did not wish to relinquish the crown we had bestowed upon him and instead attempted to continue giving us what we told him we loved, we turned on him. We told him he was no longer cool, we were no longer his number one fan, and he needed to "grow up" and "be normal." After all, we had to.

Of course, some of the crimes of which he was accused, if true, are heinous. For those of us with a spiritual persuasion, he will now pay the price for his indiscretions. For those of us without a spiritual persuasion, he is at least no longer hurting anyone. But if these accusations are not true, perhaps we have demons of our own with which to wrestle. Our quick condemnation of him, likely speaks much more about us.

This aside, what we are left being able to know with any amount of certainty is that which he set out to share with us in the first place: entertainment. He gave us amazing music, incredible dance, and an undeniable impact upon our cultural history.

We turn to this now, remembering the Michael we loved, because we no longer are haunted by the Michael we did not understand. How ironically easy this now is for us, as we continually failed to make anything easy on him.

So, it is with these many reflections that I bring out my old copy of Thriller (the original one, with all its worn out glory). I can only hope that a few of the rest of us do as well.

Vindicated!

I have just heard about the plagiarism lawsuit facing Coldplay. It was filed by (my personal guitar hero) Joe Satriani and alleges that they ripped off "Viva La Vida" from his "If I Could Fly." You can read a longer article about it here, and below you can watch a YouTube video comparing the two songs.





To me, it seems pretty undeniable that the songs are strikingly similar. I hope Satch wins and I hope he takes a sh*t-ton of those wankers money!

I've had a personal vendetta against Coldplay ever since their last album was released. They've been compared to U2 ever since they arrived on the scene several years ago. They always downplayed these comparisons and/or "honorably" stated they could only hope to be as great a band as U2. However with this latest album, it became suddenly obvious that Coldplay really did wish they were U2. Or maybe it was that they wished we all thought they were U2.

First there was that iPod commercial which looked strangely similar to the U2 one from 2004. Then there were the new stage moves copied straight from U2's Live at Red Rocks performance, the outfits and decor alluding to the Vertigo tour (including the giant red graffiti "V" on the kick drum!), and of course, the songs with amazingly similar sounds to U2. "42" gets a particular nod with regards to the last of these. Homage to "40" or simply band with no more ideas of their own? This all culminated with their SNL appearance, in which they performed three songs, as opposed to the usual two allotted for musical acts. The only band to do this before Coldplay? You guessed it, U2 and not even until 2004's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb was released.

Personally, I don't know how Bono & Co. can stand these pretentious (and not in the Bonoronic sense), wannabe jag-offs! Why are they not suing Coldplay, or at least giving them a stern talking-to? Maybe my Irish boys think audiences will know who has the real goods. Maybe they know Coldplay can't touch their millions. Or maybe they're laughing too hard to do anything. After all, these guys are so talentless and unoriginal that the band they are obviously trying so desperately to be isn't even the one suing them!

Guess John Lennon was right. Instant Karma really is gonna get you! Well, may you pay that piper dearly, Chris Martin. Dearly!

BEST THING EVER!!!!!

Oh dear god! I just saw this on TV and had to find it online to share with all of you. This is the best thing I have ever seen, and if you know my history, you know why! Enjoy!

What the Public Wants...

It has been brought to my attention by some of my faithful fans that I need to update this puppy a bit more. I do apologize to y'all for slacking so much lately on this ole' blog. I promise it is not that I don't love you all to pieces or that I have nothing to say. I've really just been struggling a bit with the shift in workload for the new job. Instead of having the cushy single course load of a graduate student, I now have a real world full course load of teaching. I have quickly learned that one needs to alter assignments and schedules to be both appropriate for students and manageable for oneself (who knew!).

Anyway, the semester is almost over and I promise to be much better about adding new posts soon. But in the meantime, below are some fun things I've been doing and pondering the last several weeks. Enjoy!

What I'm Hearing...

While working, I've been listening to a lot of music lately. It helps keep me sane when the students don't. Anyway, here are a few of the things I've been enjoying lately.

1. The Black Keys - Okay, so I'm probably the last person on the planet to "discover" these guys. I had actually heard of them before, but just never got around to checking out any of their stuff. Well, I recently rejoined emusic and once again stumbled across their name while searching for something-or-another.

They have one of the most incredible sexy-dirty-crunch (my own term) sounds I have ever heard. When I listen to their stuff, I can't tell if I want to make out with someone because it's hot or slap someone because I'm offended. But either way, I like it! Some will probably call this group alt-country, but as someone who doesn't always love everything in that genre, I would add that they are all the good stuff and very little of the yawn stuff.

2. The New Slipknot's Disc - This has been a tough one for me. I have a long history of dislike (or at least great apprehension) for this band. They came out in my former Hot Topic days. I initially found them to be an overrated gimmicky nu-metal band amongst a heap of thousands. I saw them once back in '00 or '01 and they were pretty terrible. At the time, I also had a friend from Iowa (where they're supposedly from), who told me that there was no way the band now going by the name Slipknot was the same band that played the bar scene of Des Moines, because that band was a god-awful talentless mess. I also had a great unease over the fairly well-documented story of how Slipknot and their record label ripped off their look and story from Cleveland-natives, Mushroomhead.

Anyway as a result, I avoided the group for many years. But, I had recently been hearing really good things about their new album, All Hope is Gone. So when I came across a used copy in Boston last week, I decided to see what all the fuss was about. I must admit, I'm glad I did. While many of the bands of this era have disbanded (System of a Down), lost their edge (Korn), or simply become ridiculous (Limp Bizkit), Slipknot has hung around and, to my astonishment, gotten immensely better! All Hope is Gone is one of the tightest and more inventive albums I've heard in awhile. I also appreciate their ability to stretch their sound into other metal genres instead of beating the proverbial dead horse. I don't know who these guys really are or whether or not they really pull this off live now, but damn they know how to make some awesome s**t in the studio!

3. The White Tie Affair - J and I went to see Kill Hannah a couple months ago. They were playing at this tiny club in St. Paul called Station 4. It actually reminded us of the hallowed ground that is Howard's in BG. But anyway, the White Tie Affair was one of several opening bands for KH, and they were a super high-energy, electro-pop, funfest! The singer kept alternating between hanging from the support poles and getting the entire crowd jumping up and down in sync to their technopunk beats. Much fun to be had! I've been digging their disc ever since. It's like Mono in a college dorm during February! Fast, hard-hitting, and infectiously catchy!

4. The New Metallica Disc - Oh yeah, you read that right! I have not forgotten my previous post of doom and dread. However, remember all of those qualifications of unless the initial tracks were not indicative of the remaining album? Curiously, they were all right on. The new album is well...quite impressive. Is it the disc that should've come between Justice and the Black Album? Maybe, but I would actually say it should've been where the band went after the Black Album instead of wallowing in the "Load and Reload of Crap" era. Death Magnetic is beautifully tight and assaultingly heavy. By far, "The Day that Never Comes" and the oh-so-unfortunate "Unforgiven 3" are the only weak spots on the album. The rest is the onslaught for which I've continued to carry the Metallica torch all these years, ever hoping they still had it in them!

What I'm Watching...

To unwind after a long day of posting/grading/posting/grading/replying to whining/grading some more, I've been chilling with J and watching a lot of television in the evenings. Here are some of our favorites.

1. 30 Rock - Oh, my beloved Tina Fey! No one makes me laugh like you. It's so refreshing to laugh with my brain as well as my gut. So far the season is off to a HI-larious start. Jennifer Aniston stalking Alec Baldwin, Night Court reunion, Oprah Winfrey, and Princess Leia on jury duty! What more do I have to say? Oh and by the way, Fey also gets a tip of the hat for getting me through the election season. Of course, she had help from SNL, The Daily Show, and The Cobert Report.

2. Life - This is one of the most underrated shows on TV right now. It has been a victim of time-slot jockeying and poor promotion. It almost feels like NBC wants it to fail. But still, Damian Lewis and Sarah Shahi's perfect chemistry and offbeat humor continue to prevail. Sure, its a crime drama, but it's not exactly run of the mill. After all, where else does fruit help in the solving of crime?

3. House - This show makes my hypochondria surge into hyperdrive, but yet, I can't stop watching. Hugh Laurie's portrayal of caustic, yet strangely loveable, Gregory House is flawless. Plus, this season's tension between House and Cuddy is hot, yet sweet!

4. Life on Mars - This is my favorite new show of the season. I know this is a "reinvention" of a British series (which I haven't yet seen), but I'm still diggin' this version. Strangely, my attraction is not really for the storylines, which are often a bit weak. Instead, I'm loving the characters, especially Harvey Keitel's Lieutenant Hunt and Michael Imperioli's Detective Carling, and the beautifully shot and carefully crafted look of the series. This show recreates the 1970s so slickly, it makes you wish it really had been that way.

What I'm Learning...

Of course, my students are not the only ones learning things this semester. In the spirit of collaborative education, they have taught me much. Here are a few gems.

1. The [insert cultural issue here] is over.
2. The gays are everywhere on TV now, and the lesbians are all over films.
3. It is totally acceptable to use derogatory terms, such as queers, a queer, colored people, and hermaphrodite (especially since all that stuff doesn't matter anymore - see #1).
4. "Many singers have died trying to do anorexia."
5. It is not necessary to actually read the syllabus, but rather imagine its contents.
6. No matter how explicit you state something, it makes absolutely no sense once a student reads it.

And, my all-time favorite lesson...

7. "The closet" is not a real closet.

Psst...Pass it On!

I'm sure some of you have already seen these videos, or something like them, but I just stumbled across them on Brave New Film's YouTube site. They are really powerful and I think deserve as much exposure as possible. So, please link or pass them on to others.

This one is on McCain's health. It's really scary, especially in light of his ever-so-precious VP candidate, who according to this will very likely be running the country!





This second one is on his contradicory stances regarding important issues. How this guy isn't being called a "flip-flopper" I'll never understand!

Well, Now I Know Why They Titled It That

I really hope that the new Metallica song ("The Day that Never Comes") is an ironic reference to the fact that the day will never come when Metallica once again kicks ass!

Today I finally heard the the two new Metallica songs that are floating around the Internet. The first, mentioned above, was officially released by the band on Thursday, and the second, "Cyanide," is a live version of a new song from a recent gig. You can hear them both streaming on the band's MySpace page here. But, before I go into why the songs disappoint, I should explain where I stand on the once-impressive metal giants.

I got into Metallica around 1987-88, and the first album I ever heard was Master of Puppets. That album freaked my sh** out! It was incredible stuff and I had heard little like it. I quickly scarfed up their other releases and even scoured used and collectible stores to locate a copy of the then out-of-print Garage Days Re-Revisited. I was hooked.

This was also the moment in time when Metallica was on a "reinvention hiatus." Now, I am very different than many music fans in that this does not automatically spell doom for me. In fact, one of my favorite bands, U2, made their best album to date (along with the best tour of any band) after a similar break.

The album that emerged from this time was the now infamous "Black Album." I (unlike many die hard fans) found it pretty cool. Yes, it was a departure, but I also felt at the time that it not only demonstrated growth, but guts. I think what many people forget is that when the album was made it also sounded unlike anything before it. In other words, not only had Metallica ushered in the age of thrash back in the early '80s, but they also ushered in a new age of metal for the '90s. I saw Metallica three times on the monster tour that followed this release and they are still some of the best shows I've ever seen.

Unfortunately, if the "Black Album" was illustrating growth, the growth ended there. Load and (the even more ridiculous) Reload felt like rehashed and/or remixed versions of the songs found on the "Black Album." Innovation became formulaic and stale. Evolution had ceased.

I then looked forward to the promised departure of St. Anger and while the songs were much better, the production was (as many others have said) too disagreeable for me to fully enjoy the album.

Metallica has been making news for close to two years now with reports of another new disc. I have heard many good things. I read that it was 'the album that should have come between ...And Justice for All and the "Black Album."' I also heard that it would continue in the direction/vein of St. Anger, but did away with the production experiments. Try as I might to ignore, I began to find myself excited once again for the possibility of recapturing the magic spirit of Metallica.

What I heard today appears to signal a sad closure of the door to hope for that magic. "The Day that Never Comes" is a ballad-esque yawner in the style of "Until it Sleeps" or "Bleeding Me," instead of "Fade to Black" or "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)." About 4 minutes in, it becomes an thrashier instrumental, but is sloppy and uneven rather than tight and daring like earlier tracks (or even stuff on St. Anger).

The other track, "Cyanide," shows slightly more promise in its thrashy time changes and unusual structuring. My only hope is that the studio production allows for a more even and tight sound.

So, I'll still check out the disc when it's released, but this may finally be not only the end of an era for me (I know many would argue it ended long ago), but also the end of hoping for that era to be recaptured, if even for a moment.

Maybe the boys really just don't have it in them anymore. I Guess I'll go listen to the new Testament album instead.

Doctor, Doctor...Can you Hear Me Calling...

As of Saturday August 9th, I am officially Dr. Thmarn.

Despite the best efforts of the Graduate College with its paperwork, The L Word with its spin-offs, and the ceremony with its inferno heat and heavy velvety gown...I have prevailed! Academia beware, there's a new sheriff (Read: tiny and lowly newbie on the academic ladder) in town!

You may address me accordingly.

Just when you thought it was safe...

As you all know, I study the queer cultural phenomenon that is The L Word. I have published a couple articles on it and just finished the ole diss. I also hope to work this into a book proposal this fall. But after that, I really hope to move on to other things. Related theories, but new case studies.

The show was bringing me a nice bit of closure as well, in that the final season (6) was supposed to be airing on Showtime this winter. But, in true "TLW taunts me" fashion, I just read in Entertainment Weekly and had confirmed at one of the leading websites that creator Chaiken and Showtime will be developing...yes, you guessed it...

AN L WORD SPIN-OFF!!!

This both enrages and intrigues me so much...I just might 'splode!

It's Not Just About Guitar Lust!

I recently learned about this new guitar. It is a special edition model to celebrate Joe Satriani's 20 year relationship with Ibanez guitars. I absolutely love it and am seriously considering purchasing it. I have never spent this much (around a grand) on a guitar and in fact, never really thought I would. After all, I'm really only a "hobbyist." But, this guitar symbolizes a lot of important things to me.

If you've ever played an instrument, you know there is a moment after you've been playing a while when you begin to plateau. You cease to advance quickly and learning becomes more gradual. This can be a very frustrating moment, and in fact, is responsible for many people giving up.

Around the time that I was reaching this point, my guitar teacher at the time asked me if I had ever heard of a guitarist named Joe Satriani. He then played me a few minutes of his most recent release (Surfing with the Alien), which is the artwork that graces this killer instrument, and suggested I pick up a copy.

What I hear on that album, starting with the very first notes to the last amazing riff, blew my freakin' young mind! I had never heard shred guitar. I didn't even know you could do that kind of stuff on the thing! It was incredible and I was hooked! Frustration over my plateau was out the window.

The Satch Man had saved my desire to play, inspired me endlessly with each new note, and perhaps done even more (since I poured myself into my guitar during my awkward and depressed teenage years).

Many years ago, I even got the opportunity to meet the man. I was nervous, because you never know what can happen when you meet your idols. He was a genuinely great guy and very gracious when I told him what his playing had meant to me.

So, this guitar isn't simply about lusting after a beautiful instrument. It is also about what playing has meant to me throughout my life. A hobby, an escape, a comfort, and a whole lot of fun. It may be expensive, but we only live once, right?

Refocusing my Efforts

If you know me (or if you have read any of this blog!), you are likely to also know that I like the Boston Red Sox. Slightly fewer of you probably know that I also love the Milwaukee Brewers. In fact, I still consider them my "home team," despite my unfortunate location in Twins Territory.

Why might I be less forthright with my Brewers fandom? Well basically, I have grown tired over the years of being laughed at! I know, I know, Brewers fans are not one of your traditionally "cursed" teams, but mind you we have never won a World Series and haven't even been to the postseason (which we only did twice, if you count the strike half-season) since 1982! If that's not the making of a team to be ignored and a fandom to be ridiculed, I don't know what is!

In fact, being a Brewer fan is likely why my love of the game went onto the back burner for many years, finally being rekindled by a trip to Fenway Park a few years back. What I learned at Fenway was not only that the Red Sox have an incredible story and an awesome ballpark, but also that anything can happen in baseball (or, maybe I was just reminded of this).

Well as many of you probably know, the Brew Crew has been making the news a lot lately. Everyone is saying that this is their year. For a while, I have tried to remain calm. I do not want to be too disappointed if/when they don't go to the postseason. But, I have recently changed my approach. I have decided to throw my fandom behind them full-force.

I am tired of hiding!

I am no fair-weather fan!

Ridicule or disappointment be damned-I love my Brewies!

This even got me in trouble last night at a St. Cloud River Bats game (our local minor league team). I wanted to get my picture taken with their awesome mascot, Batty, but he insisted on throwing my Brewers hat on the ground and stomping on it first.

But, you know what? I don't care! My Brewers are kicking butt and takin' names this year! They may not make it all the way, but hey, maybe they'll at least make it possible to wear Brewers apparel without a full-scale interrogation behind your bizarre fandom choices.

Go, Brew Crew, Go! Remind the country once again that Wisconsin has another sports team besides those damn Packers!

Another Sign of the Apocalypse

I just got wind of the following report about AC/DC's new studio album, which apparently will only be available through Wal-Mart. This really disturbs me on many levels. I have been super-psyched about the release of their new album, but now I'm totally shocked and disappointed.

They don't seem like the kind of band that would strike any type of "exclusive" deal, much less one with Wal-Mart. Besides, I thought the trend of making deals with WM was waning as a result of their scandalous practices of selling only edited albums (Does this mean that AC/DC's new disc will only be available in an edited form?). Their music isn't even available on iTunes or other major download sites, so I guess if I want to avoid giving my money to "Satan's Palace" (as a friend of mine calls it) I have to hope I can buy it directly through them or find it used somewhere.

Now, I realize that the argument against WM isn't that simple. A good friend of mine's family recently benefited greatly from the retail monster. But honestly, I get a little nauseous when any artist decides to pull these "exclusive" deals with major corporations (I'm even a bit nervous about U2's recent deals with LiveNation). There is "selling out," which can't be avoided and happens the second you form a band with the intent of garnering an audience, and then there's "SELLING OUT."

Maybe it's in their best interest, but I wonder if they're remembering to consider their fan base.

The Day's "Crack Me Up" Moment #2

The best email spam I have ever received arrived today. It was totally blank, except for one line, which simply read:

Your life is crap.

The Day's "Crack Me Up" Moment #1

With regards to the announcement that the NFL was now going to make a concerted effort to fight the poor and unruly behavior of football fans at games, JS replied:

Well, that sounds like fighting the "war on terror."

Vacation in Another Nation.

On Friday, J and I took off for the Twin Cities to partake in some much-needed R&R. I distributed the diss to my committee on Friday (oh yeah, forgot to mention that!), and she finished up her hellish teaching semester. Conveniently, one of our favorite sports teams, the good ole' Boston Red Sox, were in town for a four game series against the Minn Twins. Of course, if you follow sports at all, you know how the BoSox did. Not so much, but that's okay. It was just great to be in the actual ballpark with them, cheering them on, seeing all their preparation ticks live, shouting "Yoooouuuk!" in person, and seeing Manny hit home run #498! Besides, even though they didn't do so hot, they put up a great fight, and the games were anything but boring.

But I also experienced something else for the first time, in that I actually got a glimpse of what Red Sox Nation is all about. All weekend I kept having interactions (some very brief) with other individuals purely because I was visually a Red Sox fan (I wore my jersey and well-worn black Sox cap). And Sox fans were out in force in The Cities this weekend. In fact, I would estimate that there were almost an equal number of Sox and Twins fans in the Metrodome each night. This, of course, did not make the Twins fans happy, and they kept reminding us of it all weekend (booing our cheers of "Let's Go, Red Sox!," throwing Crisp's and Lowell's home run balls back on the field, taunting us anywhere they could find us, etc.).

But, this only seemed to make Red Sox Nation feel closer and more obligated to acknowledge each other in this hostile foreign "Twins Territory". For instance, there was the guy at the bus stop, who offered us help with navigating the public transit (he was wearing a Sox cap) and asked if we were in town for the games. Then there were all the other "visually Sox" fans at the games, who would either smile, nod, or even greet me as I passed them in the corridors. This happened at venues outside of the game as well, such as the mall, museums, and restaurants. Our hotel also appeared to be a common residence for many of the out-of-town fans, and we often would briefly greet each other in the hallways. And just to point out - I am not jumping to conclusions, this does NOT normally happen to me! People generally ignore (or are rude to) me.

It was a cool feeling to connect with others over our common interest, and of course, the academic in me was reminded of Henry Jenkins' theories on fandom and knowledge communities. In his most recent book, Convergence Culture, he talks about how popular culture fandom sometimes brings very different people together, who would otherwise have no reason to interact. He believes that if we could find other ways to do this over more serious social and political issues that we might harness a very powerful resource.

This weekend I more concretely visualized what Jenkins was talking about. Many of these people would never acknowledge me in my normal daily life, but suddenly in this moment, they found it important to not only greet me, but align themselves with me. Did it matter that I was a radical, lefty, queer academic? Nope - I was a Red Sox fan!

If only the rest of life was this simple...

Uh Huh Her Live at ... The Planet?

J and I went to see Leisha Hailey's (formerly The Murmurs and Gush and yes, Alice from The L Word) new band, Uh Huh Her, last night at a place called the Varsity Theater in Dinkytown, Minneapolis. It was pretty cool to see a live show again. We actually haven't been to one in quite a long time, which is quite strange for me. It was just nice being in a hip crowd of people, listening to trendy, indie music. There is so little of any of that here in SC. It also didn't hurt that the majority of the crowd appeared to be queer.

And here is where my moment of disorientation comes in. The Varsity Theater is an ambiance-filled place to see a show. It has lots of leather and velvet furniture lining its perimeter; the ceiling is complete with disco balls, holiday lights, and chandeliers; and there are two bars with a decent (and fairly reasonably-priced) selection of beverages. It was actually more like someone's living room, than a rock club. Now add to this the fact that almost the entire audience actually looked like the cast of The L Word. I'm not exaggerating, here. When we first walked in, I was speechless because I actually thought I had somehow been transported into the show's Planet or SheBar. It was incredibly surreal.

So, here lies the irony as I finish my dissertation: A significant number of the viewers I discuss talk about how no one looks like the women on the show and that "real" lesbian life is not like that. But apparently, when that "real" lesbian community wasn't looking, it suddenly did begin to look like that show and those women. Generally, the women at this gig were younger - probably coming to their identity through The L Word, and this type of image-construction is not unprecedented, by any means, within queer culture. (Women in the 50s modeled themselves after Radclyffe Hall and the 90s brought the Riot Grrrl/Alterna-chick image.)

But, it's still a bit strange for me and this project. It doesn't contradict my conclusions or anything, just adds a new element that I'll have to address at some point.

Perhaps we all want to live in The L Word so bad, that we now do. I guess there are worse places...at least it should be an absurdly fun ride!

Thanks! I needed that!

They say that you can measure a person's wealth by looking at their friends. If that is the case, I must be the wealthiest person on Earth!

I just came home yesterday from my trip back to old BG. It was such a great time! I didn't actually realize how much I missed that place and all those people until I was back. And I just want to thank all of you who came out to say hi. It is really heartwarming to know I haven't been forgotten and that I am connected to such amazing people. I can't wait to come back in a few weeks for the defense. (BTW-my meeting with my chair went great and I will be distributing as planned).

One last thing, I noticed that an underlying theme of the evening was that many of us are facing scary times in the next few months (or years). Try to stay positive. The only thing that keeps me going some days is just blindly stumbling forward and refusing to even consider that I could fail. I really believe that somehow the Universe always takes care of those who deserve to be taken care of, and you are all remarkable people with incredible things to give this world! I wish you all the best - don't give up at what you want. It will not be an easy haul, but each battle we win, is one they lose. Okay, enough "sap" for now (at least I don't do this often, huh?)

Thanks for the awesome times-I'll see ya again in a few weeks!