Things that Irritate Me.

1. Traffic jams in towns that don't seem to be eligible for them. Since many of you either live in or have lived in Bowling Green, I will put this into perspective. Where I now live is kind of like if you took BG and replaced Main St. with Monroe St. from Toledo. You know, that crazy busy street with the mall and everything else - smack in the middle of town. Once you stray off that street, it's like living in any Small Town, USA; but until then it's this crazy cut-throat street of death and assholery! On Fridays I usually have to go to my bank, which is maybe a mile down this aforementioned road of Hell, and it takes me like 45 minutes to get there and back! And, my tellers are very efficient! Grrr...

2. Maintenance guys who don't listen to you. So, the other night I am awoken by this banging sound coming from our heating units (we have baseboard hot water heat throughout the apartment). I call the maintenance emergency number because, well this sounds serious. He doesn't seem too concerned at first and begins to ask me questions: "Is your heater on?" [Yes, its mid-October in Minnesota.] "Is it all the way up?" [No, it's not mid-October in Alaska, dumbass]. "Well, was it a ticking sort of noise?" [What part of the word 'banging' didn't you understand?] "Okay, I think I might know what it is, I'll come out and check the boiler to make sure everything is alright." [There ya' go!].

Okay, forward to the next day. A different maintenance guy comes knocking on my door (actually he begins to let himself in before I even get to the door, but that's a complaint for another day) and asks me basically all the same questions and then asks if I've noticed any leak in my heating units. A LEAK?! Don't you think that would've been information I might have considered helpful and offered up in the first place?! No, I have not noticed any leaks. He furthers his questions: "Are you sure?" [Well, unless you mean that large puddle of hot water I've been sitting in while I write my dissertation all day, yeah I'm sure! ARG!]

Anyway, they tell me a day later that they have finally found and fixed "the leak." This morning...what should I hear...BANG, BANG, BANG. Sigh....

3. The evil twin of "Midwest Nice" - "Midwest Asswipe." Okay so first off, when I first moved to BG, people told me to expect the phenomenon of "Midwestern Nice," which is people being really friendly in a rather unprovoked way. However, coming from Wisconsin, I didn't notice. In fact, I thought local people in Ohio were less friendly. Now, moving further north in the Midwest, I am experiencing the "Midwest Nice" again. So, apparently the further north you go, the nicer they get. And, I most certainly have had experiences up here with seriously friendly-ass people, who have no reason to be friendly with me. These are people who will strike up several minute conversation with you (over milk, bookstores, restaurants, their children, your profession, whatever) without any warning. You didn't ask for it, they just do it and they generally seem quite sincere.

However, this phenomenon has an evil twin - "Midwest Asswipe." These are the people that for no apparent, or completely irrational, reasons are just dicks! There was the woman who honked at me because I wasn't making my left turn when the light turned green...because there were three cars in front of me. She started swearing and gesturing at me until she could fly around me and yell. And, then there was the guy who pulled through a parking space from the other aisle so that he could steal the space I was waiting for and when he saw me - he and his kid started laughing! Oh yeah, and the guy at Savers who literally pushed me out of the way to get to some critical piece of merchandise during the Labor Day 50% off sale. There is about a 2 to 1 ratio of "Nice" to "Asswipe," but its significant and Karma really needs to find them!

4. TIVO that doesn't do what it's told. Okay, so this one probably seems silly, but it's really been getting to me lately. I don't have a lot to do up here right now other than write the diss, so it's the little things that I look forward to. One of these is the enjoyment of a favorite TV show and on more than one occasion, my TIVO has either not recorded what I asked, or deleted something it had recorded for no apparent reason. I really hate this, especially because it always seems to be the stuff that's only on once. Maybe it's "Big Brother" deciding what is appropriate for me...

5. The fact that I thought it was windy in BG. Okay, so I had clearly forgotten how windy it can be in the more northern Midwestern states. It is blowing about 50mph today (fyi-that's thunderstorm strength in most other areas). It is not storming. It isn't even cloudy. This is just a normal day in fall here. I would say that since I moved here we have had days like this about 1/3 of the time. It sucks! Today I almost couldn't walk across my parking lot to my damn storage garage to put something away. It literally almost knocked me over! There is recycling material blowing around the parking lot and the bins are in covered garages. The wind is not only strong, but apparently also crafty! I really hate this!

6. And most of all...the fact that most of my friends are all so damn far away! I miss you all lots lately, maybe it's partly because it's almost Halloween and that's my favorite holiday to hang out with people. No Halloween party here. Boo! (and not in a scary way.) Maybe this is also what is making me so darn cranky! Hope you are all well.